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♥Saturday 31 July 2010♥ @ 7:34 pm
Dear Blog,
Charmaine is sick, at the wrong time damn it. She slept for the whole afternoon without studying for IMB and maths test coming this week and not forgeting that stupid french role-play. Obviously, she's not tired now. She's just bored because her mind is all fniawbcajkscbasdbvwebdvkasbdvhjabdvansdm.
Hurting you is equivalent to hurting myself
But hurting me is equivalent to hurting nobody.
Don't know why I still can think so much when I'm sick. Screw you memories. You make my life tough.
♥Friday 30 July 2010♥ @ 11:53 pm
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Lappy spoil, totally sian TTM! :@
A month ago, we were both happy.
A month later, only you are happy.
Thought of you today. Idk why.
Just that I missed you again.
Today isn't a good day anyways.
♥Thursday 29 July 2010♥ @ 9:45 pm
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Flu flu flu flu flu.
Seems like you find me annoying, Idk I just got this feeling.
Feels like you don't wanna' talk to me anymore.
Because I keep trying to talk to you, now I feel like a desperate fool.
Stop making me feel like a nuisance.
I just want things to be the way it was before now
Because I know I can no longer have your love.
So let's just be very good friends, shall we?
):
♥Wednesday 28 July 2010♥ @ 9:50 pm
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Jealousy.
♥Tuesday 27 July 2010♥ @ 10:58 pm
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I know you find me annoying
I know you don't care about me anymore
I know you hate me
I know it all now
I don't wanna go back to reality anymore.
I wanna stay in my dream forever.
The dream where you & I would always be together.
♥Monday 26 July 2010♥ @ 9:31 pm
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If I told you that I still miss you, will you feel the same way too?
If I told you that I still can't let you go, will you come back?
If I told you that I still cry at night, will you wipe those tears away?
If I told you that I still love you, will you hug me and tell me that everything is alright?
No you won't. I know the answer very well myself too.
But F myself, why am I holding onto you so much?
Why am I still hoping and wishing and praying everday that you'll come back?
Why can't I fucking let you go?
Why am I making myself suffer like this.
Everyday my heart hurts so damn much.
The smile on my face is just to mask over how I really feel inside.
Because how the F can I be fine when the person I love left me.
If only you know how I feel ..
You said you wanna' keep in contact with me.
But why am I the one who keeps trying to talk to you ever since that day.
I'm scared that I'll annoy you too much if I keep doing that
So why can't you talk to me first?
And I'm just so angry at myself, I hate myself seriously.
But I don't hate you, i'm not even angry at you. Why?
All I know is that I'm gonna' wait for you
I don't care how stubborn or foolish or stupid I may be
Because I have already told myself that you'll be my last.
FML.
♥Saturday 24 July 2010♥ @ 8:02 pm
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Thanks everybody for coming down to watch my performance today <3
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Glad you came, glad that I got to see you.
I miss you a lot, more than you can ever imagine.
I'm not fine, I was never fine.
Because I still can't let you go.
My heart still hurts as much.
But you'll never know.
I'll never have you, no I won't.
♥Thursday 22 July 2010♥ @ 11:54 pm
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You'll never know much i miss you.
You'll never return no matter how much I wish and pray.
♥Wednesday 21 July 2010♥ @ 11:50 pm
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Today's the 21th.
The day which was supposed to be special for me and you.
The day which I should be happy.
21 will always be a special number for me.
Because it represents me and you.
♥Tuesday 20 July 2010♥ @ 8:40 pm
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Tomorrow will be a very sad day for me.
♥Monday 19 July 2010♥ @ 6:34 pm
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Sighs, can't focus.
Reports not done, tutorials not done, e-tests not done.
Walked under the rain yesterday for 1.5 hours, so why the hell am i not sick. Unfair.
My heart ached all of a sudden again today.
I'm still lying to myself, I know.
♥Sunday 18 July 2010♥ @ 10:12 am
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Sighs, I miss you..
♥Thursday 15 July 2010♥ @ 11:15 pm
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Knn. Seriously.
Don't piss me off.
_l_
Don't come and act nice infront of me anymore.
♥Wednesday 14 July 2010♥ @ 10:59 pm
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Seeing you stressed and falling sick,
I can't helped but to worry.
Feel like helping you but I don't know how.
Just wanna' let you know what I'll still be here for you no matter what.
May all your troubles, stresses and sickness go away.
I am willing to take them all from you.
Sleep well tonight, HJ
♥Tuesday 13 July 2010♥ @ 11:06 pm
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I cannot facebook about how I feel because you'll see it.
I cannot tell you how I feel because you'll feel guilty.
So I only can blog because it's the only place you won't see it.
Yesterday, I felt that my soul left me.
I woke up this morning, and realised that what happened yesterday was real.
Cried.
Cried in school.
Cried before I got home.
Swollen eyes today, had to resort to make-up again.
♥Monday 12 July 2010♥ @ 1:08 pm
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Tonight may be the night that I will finally collapse and die.
♥Sunday 11 July 2010♥ @ 6:24 pm
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I feel that my heart can no longer beat.
Yes, that is exactly how I feel.
F.
♥Saturday 10 July 2010♥ @ 10:23 pm
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Thought about it today.
Why should I cry when I can smile?
Even if I cry, you wouldn't know so what for.
Today I felt so sad during dance that I cried, sighs.
But now I won't cry anymore.
I'll just wait for you to finish your exams and stuffs, happily.
Because why should I think of the sad stuffs,
when I can think of how we can spend our days happily later on.
(:
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사랑해
떠나지마
니가 없으면 난 아무것도 아니야
제발 내게 이러지마
I'm loving someone who may leave me anytime ...
♥Friday 9 July 2010♥ @ 11:47 pm
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Is everything really fine? I wonder.
Can't worry too much, can't love you too much, can't miss you too much.
Then what am I supposed to do?
I don't even know what am I talking about, argh.
♥Thursday 8 July 2010♥ @ 11:19 pm
):
Why does it seems like you don't appreciate what I've done?
Why do I have a feeling that you are keeping a distance away from me?
Why am I giving so much & yet receiving so little in return?
Why?
Why do you not care?
Why is this making me cry again?
♥Wednesday 7 July 2010♥ @ 8:52 am
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Just hurry.
I'm very scared, very scared my heart will close very soon.
Because now it seems like I can no longer feel anything
♥Tuesday 6 July 2010♥ @ 8:06 pm
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Today my eyes were swollen like serious swollen.
Must be the crying.
Cried in school when I did not want to.
Because people kept asking if I was okay
& y'know, it makes me recall
Now I feel like I can't cry, I don't know why.
My tears seems like they are dried up
Yesterday night was so hard to live through.
It was so so tough.. So painful..
I just cried non-stop..
And when I finally fell asleep, I had to dream of you.
You still being with me, asking me to sleep early and rest well as usual.
I know I'm suppose to wait for a week
But it is just really damn hard.
Damn F hard.
):
I tried to sleep, but whenever I lie in bed and close my eyes
I think about you and I would just .. cry.
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Today may be the last day
I just cannot bear to let you go
I've loved you too much, I've missed you too much
My world really collasped and I cried my heart out.
I really want you back
You're the first to let me know how loving someone truly feels like.
A week.
I'll wait for your answer, I'll accept your decision.
You'll be my last, I told myself.
Because after this, I will not have anymore courage to move on..
Thank you so much because I really felt so happy then.
There's nothing else I can do but to wait.
It will be tough but I'll try my best.
I promise.
♥Monday 5 July 2010♥ @ 6:09 pm
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I want to lie to myself but I can't
Cried in school
Cried at home and my sister laughed while my mum slapped me.
Why can't I feel the care and concern from my loved ones?
I'm very tired, really I am.
I just wanna' hug you now because I will feel that everything will be alright.
But ...
I'm just afraid you won't be there.
♥Sunday 4 July 2010♥ @ 11:22 pm
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Tomorrow <3
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I don't know what I'm going to type
I'm just typing aimlessly.
I'm hurting
Till my tears can no longer flow down
Till my eyes are dry and are loosing their focus
I know you are tired of my crying but that's the only thing I am able to do now
Just that everytime I see you, I fall for you even harder
You have became a part of my life
I just don't know what I can do without you
I'm scared
I'm scared you'll leave me
You are not at fault because initially we agreed on trying out
But as time passes, I realised that I love you too much
You are afraid that you cannot love me as much
But I really don't mind, because I know you are still here with me.
I just don't want you to leave.
Assure me that you are alright because I know right now you are hurting too
I rather that I am the one who gets hurt than you
It is just going to get tougher, with almost everything against us.
I really wanna assure you, I really wanna tell you that I will be there for you
I will give you all the support and care and concern and love that you need
The only thing is that I am umable to express them
We just have to hang in there, just hang in there
Whatever it is, whatever the next step is, whatever that may happen,
I am prepared and I promise you, I won't cry again.
I just hope that your feelings will just get stronger and stronger as we go on.
I love you ..
♥Saturday 3 July 2010♥ @ 7:41 pm
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This feeling, this emptiness whenever you are not with me ..
♥Thursday 1 July 2010♥ @ 9:18 pm
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I think it's because I miss you, that's why I have no idea how to spend my day without you.
):
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I don't know what I wanna' blog about today.
Just that I know its gonna be difficult later on.