This blog belongs and is designed by Me
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♥Saturday, 27 November 2010♥ @ 11:05 pm
Dear diary,
People are weird. Why you may ask. Because they seem to do the exact opposite of what they thought and said before. Due to this, it annoys me and saddens me because I got a different treatment in the end. I'm not gonna' name anybody here to protect the individuals yeah.I admit, 'A' and I got together pretty fast after knowing each other. And we didn't even last a month, that's the sad part. Anyways, when 'B' knew about 'A' and I, he said he was mind-fucked. He became super cold towards me, stopped talking to me, and even had an impression change of me. We used to be pretty close, for your info. He said that it was too fast of 'A' and I getting together and he didn't understand why 'girls around me' are like that as well. But who knew, during that period 'B' became closer to another girl and after a month plus, less than 2, he got together with her.So tell me again blog, why are people always contradicting themselves? I really don't get it. I find it really unfair. Why do I always get such treatment? I got said, misunderstood, labelled and hated because of that(I guess) but what he got, is the total opposite of mine. He received, just to put it simply, good responses.Sighs, really sighs.Anyways, I've always remembered. But I don't know if you really forgot, or you chose to forget about it. Maybe you can take some time and recall. But you won't have the time to now, I doubt you even want to recall. Seeing what you are doing now, still causes me to feel like this emoticon ( \: ) It's so similar, really. Shan't say anymore, it won't do me any good anyways.BUT no harm done with this post, no harsh feelings or whatever, really. I don't want any misunderstandings again. This post is just how I feel because I really needed somewhere to rant. I mean no harm (:♥Thursday, 25 November 2010♥ @ 12:50 am
-Can you hear these teardrops in my pillow? They keep falling cause' I keep falling for you.Yes my dream was telling me, warning me that something was going to happen. & it really did. I shouldn't have taken note and prepare myself for yet another of that. A sweet dream ended up to be a cold harsh reality. Take it easy Charmaine. No I can't . Fuck it.Life seems so unfair at times. You, telling me things and doing something else in the end countless times annoys me, hurts me and makes me feel like a real fool. Seriously. I'm saying too much? No? Because you don't know I'm blogging here so I fuck care because I know you are not going to see it. I don't know if I should feel sad, or to feel angry. Actually I don't even know how I'm feeling. But wait, am I even supposed to feel this fucking way? Why am I like affected by your actions? Stupid me.Yes, stupid me. I can never succeed. & again, I got thrown down from a high-end building, landing straight to the cold hard concrete floor. In pain, crying but you just smiled and walked away. ♥Tuesday, 23 November 2010♥ @ 1:14 am
Shit.
I'm screwing my life, my name, my everything up. Why the fuck do the same things keep happening? As much as I would wish it would stop forever, it won't. Thinking about it makes me .. (I don't know what that feeling is called) . To know what others are thinking, saying behind my back, it sucks. To be labelled, it sucks too. To be misunderstood, sucks as well. I'm trying to avoid and prevent it, but somehow, I always fail. A friend of mine said it's because I'm too naive. A simple word could have saved me from all these nonsensical shit, but no, I didn't have the heart to say no.Wish I could just wake up one day, with all problems gone. But fuck it, this is reality.
♥Wednesday, 17 November 2010♥ @ 3:30 am
Dear blog.
Maybe things aren't that simple as they seem. Because as much as I would love to not care or to not give a damn, I can't. Maybe it's cause I have not compose myself yet. Don't know how long will it take, don't know how long more. But then again it seems so long already.But fuck it, I'm just screwing my life again.& I don't know why I'm blogging when I have a dairy to write in. Stupid.
♥Thursday, 11 November 2010♥ @ 4:51 pm
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Yes, maybe this time round I should just bottle everything up and shut up. Cus' I've lost all my motivation to keep me going. Really. I just want to give up everything. It's like I don't know what I should do with my life now. Like, I just don't feel like continuing it anymore. I have no other reasons for me to live. No more motivation. I'm lost and I'm stuck.
♥Friday, 5 November 2010♥ @ 9:59 pm
Dear blog.
Should I believe once again? Or should I just remain the way I am now? Everytime I feel like breaking that wall, something happens which causes me to go back to the way I am. Really sometimes I just feel like giving up. Yes I'm weak but so? Because I've tried to believe and right when I was about to go for it, you pushed me down. I was hurt. Yes I was. So now, I always tell myself, why believe again. I should protect myself, shouldn't I? Because believing hurts, damn it. And if you were to look what my eyes were expressing sometimes, you would know exactly how I'm feeling.♥Tuesday, 2 November 2010♥ @ 2:05 am
Dairryyyyy.
Ankle swollen, chest pain and I think i injured my other ankle slightly today. LOL.Anyways, I really hope whatever I saw and experienced that day was true.